Why you don't want to be six foot eight
I get a lot of random people coming up to me and saying one of three things:
1. How tall are you?
2. Do you play basketball?
3. Gee I wish I was that tall.
A word of advice: If you ever see a really tall person on the street, DO NOT approach them and say any of these things. There is nothing wrong with going to a tall stranger and saying: 'Gee you're attractive' or something similar, but the above three phrases are out of bounds.
Firstly, why do you want to know exactly how tall I am? I'm tall, alright! Can't you see that with your own eyes? I especially hate those people who ask how tall I am, and then when I tell them, are like 'WOW THAT'S INCREDIBLE!'. Does knowing my height in feet and inches somehow make me look taller? What does it matter to you anyway, shortarse?
Do you go up to fat people on the street and ask them 'Gee how heavy are you? 148 Kilos! Wow you're really fat!'. Do you go up to short people and ask them how tall they are? Do you ask bald people about hair loss? NO! So why do you think the tall people want to hear it?
Secondly, just because I'm tall doesn't make me like playing basketball. Quite frankly basketball contains too much shit talking for my tastes, and in melbourne usually involves short loudmouthed dudes who think they're the bomb cos they're wearing the latest LeBron headband. IT'S MY LIFE AND I DON'T HAVE TO PLAY BASKETBALL IF I DON'T WANT TO. Never tell a tall person that 'you should be playing basketball cos you would make millions, and if I were that tall I sure would be'. Don't project your shitty dreams onto tall people like me. because I don't care.
Ultimate's a much better game anyway.
Thirdly, I hate it when people tell me that they wish they were as tall as me. Why? So you can hear the above three statements about 20 times a day? So you can't find pants or shoes that fit? So you have to duck under doorways? So you have to endure tall jokes all the f***ing time? Trust me, it's not that great.
F
1. How tall are you?
2. Do you play basketball?
3. Gee I wish I was that tall.
A word of advice: If you ever see a really tall person on the street, DO NOT approach them and say any of these things. There is nothing wrong with going to a tall stranger and saying: 'Gee you're attractive' or something similar, but the above three phrases are out of bounds.
Firstly, why do you want to know exactly how tall I am? I'm tall, alright! Can't you see that with your own eyes? I especially hate those people who ask how tall I am, and then when I tell them, are like 'WOW THAT'S INCREDIBLE!'. Does knowing my height in feet and inches somehow make me look taller? What does it matter to you anyway, shortarse?
Do you go up to fat people on the street and ask them 'Gee how heavy are you? 148 Kilos! Wow you're really fat!'. Do you go up to short people and ask them how tall they are? Do you ask bald people about hair loss? NO! So why do you think the tall people want to hear it?
Secondly, just because I'm tall doesn't make me like playing basketball. Quite frankly basketball contains too much shit talking for my tastes, and in melbourne usually involves short loudmouthed dudes who think they're the bomb cos they're wearing the latest LeBron headband. IT'S MY LIFE AND I DON'T HAVE TO PLAY BASKETBALL IF I DON'T WANT TO. Never tell a tall person that 'you should be playing basketball cos you would make millions, and if I were that tall I sure would be'. Don't project your shitty dreams onto tall people like me. because I don't care.
Ultimate's a much better game anyway.
Thirdly, I hate it when people tell me that they wish they were as tall as me. Why? So you can hear the above three statements about 20 times a day? So you can't find pants or shoes that fit? So you have to duck under doorways? So you have to endure tall jokes all the f***ing time? Trust me, it's not that great.
F
posted by Frank at 9:21 PM
2 Comments:
How tall are you again? Nah, just razzin' ya mate! I'm a shortarse myself at 5'6", and am relieved that people don't approach me in the street saying "Geez, mate, you're really short for a guy aren't you? How short are you?". Luckily my girlfriend is 4'9", so I retain my manly status.
Yeah, that happens a lot. Fortunately we don't have to play basketball to earn a whole bunch of money. Just being tall in itself gets you more than the regular Joes.
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